I’m approaching a milestone birthday this year, and have vowed to make it my best year yet. It’s like an entire year of Treat Yo Self, where I choose self-indulgence in a variety of forms. I allow myself to splurge on things that I really want, and say no to things that I don’t want. I’ve also set some personal and career goals for this year. But the most important part is to be the best version of myself and live my best life, one where I’m happy and achieving my full potential.

Be Generous and Kind

Because, why not? It usually doesn’t cost a thing, literally or figuratively, to be kind to another being. Smile at a stranger. Resist the temptation to flip someone off for a traffic blunder, because they might just be having a bad day or dealing with a noisy child in the back seat. If that feels good, try generosity. Say thank you or extend a sincere compliment. Say something nice about someone when they’re not around. Give your time to someone you know who could use company or help. Volunteer your time and skills or donate money to a charity that is meaningful to you. Donate blood. And while you’re at it…

Practice Self-Compassion

I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty hard on myself, much more than I am with other people. While not everyone talk about it, it’s fairly common to be self-critical. Sometimes it’s quite harsh, and for the most part not really helpful or kind. So I try to be more aware of when it’s happening so I can notice how ridiculous some of my negative, judgmental thoughts toward myself are. Treat yourself with as much kindness and compassion that you would extend to any other being. Forgive yourself if you make a mistake and learn from the experience. Be patient and understanding when you are not perfect. When you are having a difficult time, allow yourself time and space to heal.

Don’t Worry: Face your Fears

I wrote an entire article about this topic a few weeks ago, so I won’t go into too much detail. If you can’t stop thinking about the thing that worries you, another tactic is to face your fear by playing out the worst case scenario and asking yourself what you would do if it happened.

Konmari (Declutter) Your Life 

If you have no idea what “Konmari” means, check out Marie Kondo’s bestselling book from several years ago, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, or the Netflix series, Tidying Up with Marie Kondo.

Are there people or things that are no longer serving a positive purpose in your life, or outright dragging you down? If you have people who constantly make judgmental or critical comments without accepting or supporting you, stand up for yourself. Speak up, and if needed, set boundaries and limit the amount of time you spend with them. 

Similarly, let go of your grudges. I used to be really bad at this. I held grudges for a long time. When I felt like someone had hurt me, I would give them the silent treatment. I didn’t know how to manage my feelings of resentment. But I learned that I was just creating another burden for myself by stubbornly holding on to those negative feelings. Like worry and guilt, resentment is just another worthless emotion.

When you let something go, you are freeing yourself.

Learn a New Skill

The old proverb, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks,” is a lie. I used to believe it, and imagined that, past a certain age, my brain would be full and I would remain stagnant in my knowledge and skills. Clearly that’s not true. There is so much value in continuing to learn new skills - it’s great for keeping your mind sharp, strengthening your cognitive reserve. It maintains your capacity to continue to learn. New skills can boost your resume, give you additional credibility and perspective, and create a sense of accomplishment, boosting your confidence. You can use what you learn to solve new problems and help other people.

Take Care of your Health

I was not good at sports when I was growing up and I don’t plan to run any marathons in this lifetime, but I consider myself an athlete, having maintained a consistent physical exercise routine for the past 25 years. Like many other people, I got started with the goal of losing weight and improving my physical appearance, but over time, exercise and movement have become intrinsic to my overall happiness. I love the endorphin high after a good workout. Strength training makes lots of things in daily life easier and less painful and is critical to counter the loss of muscle mass that comes with aging. It doesn't’ really matter what kind of fitness program you follow as long as it includes some resistance training, cardiovascular fitness, balance, flexibility, and mobility.

Being an athlete and performing at your best is not just about training – you need to sustain your energy, so pay attention to your nutrition – fuel your body and mind by eating a healthy variety of foods and getting your essential nutrients and macronutrients. Recovery is just as important. I have definitely fallen into the “more is better” way of thinking, but I’ve learned that rest is critical to replenishing energy and allowing your muscles to recover. Get enough sleep and stick to a consistent sleep schedule. While experts recommend 8 hours a night for adults, I can’t seem to make that work for me and have found that I do best with at least 6 hours of sleep. And take time off from intense workouts. I take 1-2 days per week where I do gentle cardio or yoga. I try to stay active, walking as much as possible. All of these habits benefit your mental health as well.

Take Care of Your Appearance

I’m not talking about being attractive per se, but more about maintaining your physical appearance so that you can make a positive impression and be more confident in social or professional situations. Practice regular personal grooming like brushing your teeth, washing your face, trimming your nails, getting haircuts, and bathing. Moisturize. Wear clean clothing that fits well and feels comfortable. If wearing makeup, accessories, or jewelry makes you feel more put together, do it! You can also enhance your appearance by practicing good posture, something I have to continually work on as a desk worker who sits in front of a laptop computer all day.

Stop Comparing Yourself to Other People

Last but not least, please stop looking at where you are relative to other people. They are not you. Remember your unique identity and all that it entails. Don’t feel bad if someone else is better at something that they’ve been doing longer than you have - they’ve had more time to hone their ability, and you will get there too with time. Life is not a competition. Love and be your unique self, unapologetically.

None of the ideas I’ve mentioned here are new or groundbreaking. They are just practices that I’ve found helpful in my own journey to be happy, healthy, and strong, and to have my best year yet. What is one new habit you could take on to enhance your life?