Following up on my burnout story from last week, I wanted to share some of the resources that I found most helpful during my recovery.

Books

These books all cover similar themes and are helpful for managing anxiety or other emotional distress and shifting your mindset, from a few different perspectives:

• Engineer and former Google exec: Solve for Happy: Engineer Your Path to Joy by Mo Gawdat

• Harvard Medical School Psychologist: Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life by Susan David

• Neuropsychologist: Buddha's Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom by Rick Hanson

Fried.The Burnout Podcast

This entire podcast, hosted by Cait Donovan, is dedicated to the topic of burnout. Hear stories of burnout from people in all sorts of occupations and walks of life. Here are a few episodes I found useful, but there are well over 200 available:

• Newton Cheng: I Burned Out in Corporate and Stayed - This Is How

• #straightfromcait: You're Burnt Out. Here's What That Means About You

• straightfromcait: How to Start Your Burnout Recovery

• #straightfromcait: Is it a Burnout Relapse or Have You Been Burnt Out This Whole Time?

Tools for Burnout Causes and Symptoms

Reducing Resentment and Denial

Burnout is about resentment. It's about knowing what matters to you so much that if you don't get it that you're resentful.

–Marissa Mayer, former CEO of Yahoo: 

During my burnout, I felt a loss of hope and sense of powerlessness, and I learned that this is quite common. One of my yoga teachers said that hope is optimism plus agency, and I was lacking both. Some of my core values were being neglected. Here are some practices that helped:

• Optimism: Practice gratitude and appreciation on a regular basis, either writing them down, sharing with someone else, or simply reflecting on what you are grateful for. Notice the glimmers everywhere.

• Acceptance: I learned about the power of saying yes to whatever situation or emotion comes my way, not because I approve or like them, but because they represent reality, and no amount of refusal or negative feelings on my part will change that.

• Agency: Take responsibility for your life and practice taking action in the areas of your life where you have some control.

• Autonomy: Where are you not able to do what you want when you want to, and what are some ways you could give yourself more autonomy? Start small and see how that changes how you feel.

Managing Fear and Anxiety

I had strong feelings of fear that included failure at work, loss of financial security for my family, never being able to find another job, and a sense of having no marketable skills. My fears manifested in various ways: anxiety, feelings of overwhelm, lack of confidence, depersonalization, inner emptiness, depression, mental exhaustion, and despair. What helped me in moments of panic or anxiety attacks:

• Face the fears - Instead of avoiding or pushing down your fears, imagine what a worst case scenario might look like. It’s especially effective when you write it out or say it outloud to another person. Then ask yourself:

• What would you do if the worse case actually happened?

• Are the things you fear real? 

This exercise helped me to realize that despite all the terrible thoughts I had swirling in my mind, nothing truly bad had happened in the real world to me, and a lot of this was a product of my active imagination.

• Mindfulness practices when I felt heightened emotions:

• 3 point check-in - Ask yourself these questions to ground in the present:

• What am I thinking? 

• What am I feeling? 

• What am I doing?

• 5 senses

• Happy List - Make a list of as many things that you can think of that make you happy, following the prompt  “I am happy when…” In the moments when you feel strong negative emotions, read through or bring to mind your Happy List.

Releasing the Weight of the World from your shoulders

There were a lot of things going on in the world, at my company, in my organization at multiple levels, and in my family that I was unhappy about. I made these my problems, and this left me feeling guilty and overwhelmed, like I was a failure, an imposter, and generally unworthy. The following practices helped me to stop feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders:

• Acknowledge that the problems are bigger than you, and are not your fault.

• Recognize that you are doing your best, and the problems are not an indication that you are not good enough.

• Know that your job is not to prove yourself as worthy or deserving, but to bring forth the skills and experience that got you hired in the first place.

• Remember that worrying (spiraling with anxiety) won’t actually change anything.

Managing Perfectionist Tendencies

I wrote an entire blog post on the topic of perfectionism. The way to break free is to intentionally practice doing things that go against your perfectionist tendencies: Send an email without proofreading it. Leave dirty dishes in the sink. You get the idea. This lets you see that the world will not fall apart if you are not perfect. If you happen to make a misstep, you will recover, and the consequences are usually much less severe than we imagine.

Boosting Esteem and Self-Worth

At the peak of my burnout symptoms, I lost my self-confidence and felt like I had no skills or anything else of value to offer, and that I’d never be able to return to my job or get another job. I had lost my sense of self and forgotten who I was. What helped was remembering who I was:

• Do a resume review - Reflect back on the past jobs you’ve had, projects you’ve worked on in school, or other group activities you participated in like sports, clubs, and volunteer activities. List some of the things you accomplished that you are most proud of, along with the skills you developed or applied to do them.

• Make a list of positive things about yourself – things that you admire or are proud of.

• Be patient and persistent - It takes time and consistent practice to change your mindset and attitudes.

• Revisit your past self - Read past journal entries, look at photos, or watch videos to remind yourself of who you are, what you have already experienced, and the wisdom you already have. I even read some of my own blog posts and found helpful reminders and insights that I had forgotten.

Accepting and Asking for help

One reason I got overwhelmed at work was that I felt I had to prove myself in my new team, and I wasn’t effectively delegating or asking for help. I needed a reminder that it’s okay not to do everything myself, and in fact it’s better not to. Delegating is a great way to practice letting go while also giving opportunities to other people and prioritizing things that can only be done by you.

Remember, you are not alone. Burnout can be very isolating, but it’s very likely that you are surrounded by people who understand what you are going through. We all need other people to give us hope and encouragement. I’m forever grateful to the countless people who listened, shared resources, and checked in just to let me know they were thinking of me.