As the end of the year approaches, it’s time to reflect. It's important to look back on 2024 and consider not only our results, but also how we did things—our actions and behaviors. At work we spent the last few weeks on annual planning for next year and performance reviews. Goals and outcomes are important in a high performance environment, but when it comes to personal satisfaction and fulfillment, there’s something else that matters much more—values. I’ve been thinking about this concept a lot recently after reading The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living by Russ Harris, and I’ve found myself sharing it with friends and colleagues.
Values vs. Goals
Harris's insights resonated deeply with me, particularly his distinction between values and goals. In the book, he offers techniques and practices to help manage anxiety, stress, and other difficult feelings so you can live a more meaningful life. But what really resonated for me was his discussion of the difference between values and goals.
Values are the personal qualities that we want to reflect in what we say and do—the way we treat ourselves and others. For example, I want to help other people to improve their mental, emotional, and physical health. This reflects my values of well-being and creating change in both big and small ways.
Goals, on the other hand, are the objectives or targets that we want to accomplish or attain. Outcome goals are about what we want to achieve or possess. One of my goals this year was to keep coaching at work and log hours toward my next milestone of 500 hours.
While values and goals are generally well-known concepts, and both reflect our desires and aspirations, they are distinct. You can achieve your outcome goals without acting in accordance with your values, and likewise, you can act in accordance with your values even if you don’t achieve your outcome goals. It would be possible for me to log hundreds of coaching hours while not actually helping anyone, just as it’s possible to help many people without logging any official hours.
The Power of Values-Driven Action
The crucial point is that while we can’t always control outcomes, we can choose our behaviors. When we focus on taking actions that reflect our core values, we feel empowered and fulfilled, enjoying the journey regardless of the end result. Our values connect us with what’s in our control. The only way to influence the world is through our actions. No matter the circumstances, we can always live our values, even in small ways.
This realization was a lightbulb moment. I’ve shared about my struggles with unhealthy perfectionism and the constant need to prove my worth through accomplishments. I felt inadequate unless I was constantly productive. Overwhelmed by the self-imposed pressure to achieve more, I ultimately burned out. During my burnout recovery, I kept a journal of the small things that went well each day, attributing them to my unique character qualities. This practice helped me to understand and truly feel a sense of self-esteem—feeling worthy simply for who I am and not what I do.
A Shift in Perspective
Reading about the difference between values and goals in The Happiness Trap, I realized the journaling exercise was about seeing my values reflected in my actions. This was a central point of the book: redefining success from a goal-focused orientation to simply living by one’s values. We don't need approval or other external validation. This was a mind-blowing concept!
I used to feel frustrated with myself because I stopped teaching yoga after investing hundreds of hours in yoga teacher training. I taught weekly classes at work for several years, including six months in Tokyo. I had just completed a year of teaching professionally at a local studio when they had to shut down due to COVID-19. I taught virtual classes until we started returning to work. When a subsequent attempt to restart live classes resulted in low attendance, I discontinued them. I initially felt disappointed that my journey as a yoga teacher hadn't unfolded as I'd envisioned it: I had failed to be a ‘real’ yoga teacher.
Now, looking back on the time invested in yoga teacher training and teaching, I realize I learned a lot while making yoga more available in the workplace. I shared my knowledge, skills, and passion so others could also experience the physical and mental health benefits. I met many new people and connected with my students. I took risks and tried things that felt scary. I deepened my own yoga practice. All that time, I was choosing to act in accordance with my values, which is gratifying and something to be proud of.
Finding Fulfillment in Values
Our goal-oriented society tends to measure success by our achievements. To live a more fulfilled life, find ways to align your actions with your values every day. And a final thought for the perfectionists: it’s okay if you don’t perfectly embody your values in every moment. Values are not rules but guideposts—north stars that help us set our direction and intentions.
As you look forward to 2025, take some time to identify your core values. How can you live them more fully in the year ahead?
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