Formula for Change: First Steps and Resistance

Last week, I shared the Formula for Change 

and talked about the first two variables, Dissatisfaction and Vision. Today, we’re going to get into the Doing part: taking the First concrete steps, and overcoming Resistance.

First Steps

Taking the first step is often the hardest part. When you take a step, the important thing is that you are moving into another position. You need to change what you’re doing in order to create change. Just by doing something differently than you did before or trying something new, you gain perspective, more information, and maybe some feedback. You are stepping away from the old and toward the new. You are creating momentum, and you know more than you did before, whether you failed or succeeded. And maybe doing it the second time feels a little less daunting because you have survived and know what to expect. 

The key is to have a plan for your first steps. It should be specific, but discrete. You don’t need to have your entire path mapped out towards your destination. After all, you don’t know who or what you’ll encounter along the way. I have personally found that looking at these first steps as part of an experiment can make it feel less daunting. It’s not a test to see if I am really good enough. It’s a small investment in my future vision, but without serious consequences.

The more you take risks, the more you increase your confidence. It might take a lot of steps, and there may be some setbacks, but in the long run you will make progress.

Resistance

In order for you to succeed in meeting your goals, you need to be able to overcome any resistance. There are a lot of things that can hold us back from taking action, and it depends on the individual. The good news is, working on the left side of the equation (Dissatisfaction, Vision, and First steps) is often the best way to address potential concerns about the change. It can also be really helpful to reflect ahead of time about the things that might hold you back. Here are a few of the most common obstacles:

• Fear of failure - there are a few ways to change your perspective. One is to go down the path of failure and think about what you might do in a worst case scenario. Have a plan. Another way is to make your steps low-risk, so even if you do fail, it’s not a big deal. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and try again or try something a little different. You can also ask yourself, if you were not afraid to fail, what would be different?

• You feel unqualified - This is normal. If you’re doing something new, you might need to become a learner again. That’s okay! You’ve done it before. If you’re reading these words right now, you learned how to read in English. That’s no small feat. What can you do to build the skill or capability that is missing today? Or, do what I often do and Fake It Till You Make It. A lot of times the best way to learn is by doing.

• Inertia - We might want something to change, but we are still used to the way things are and find comfort in the familiar. Or sometimes, we’re just not motivated to get started. This is when it’s helpful to go back to your Vision and remind yourself why this is important to you. If there is something about your Vision that doesn’t feel quite right, figure out what it is and tweak it. What is it you really want and how are you going to get it?

• Perfectionism - I predict this one resonates with many of you reading this. I’ll take action once I’m sure I’ve got all my ducks in a row. I think this is a close cousin of Control. As long as I do things just right, I can make sure everything goes the way I want it to. But guess what - things can still go wrong. If you want a change, doing something in an imperfect way is still better than inaction. At least now you’ve moved and not in the same spot as when you started. A method I find helpful to counter perfectionism when I’m creating is to timebox, or allocate a fixed amount of time to an activity. For example, I could easily spend another hour editing this blog post in the pursuit of perfection, but what use is it if it doesn’t get published? Instead, I allow myself a certain amount of time and then just put it out there.

• Fear of criticism - What will my family say? What will my friends say? Well, criticism is a form of feedback, and feedback is just a reflection of what someone else believes. It’s not any more valid than your own beliefs. You know yourself better than anyone else. You may go out of your way to avoid criticism. But when you look back on your life, will you feel better about the criticism you avoided or what you did do? Keep your eyes on the prize.

You can find lots of great free articles about how to overcome all of the above obstacles once you identify where your resistance is coming from. And once you know have named your adversary, you’re already weakening its power over you. 

So as you prepare to step into the Doing stage, ask yourself:

• What is one action you can take to move toward your goals? If that goes well, what will you do next?

• What might hold you back? How can you conquer that resistance?

At my first job after college, my boss gave everyone in the team a gift - a pack of sticky notes customized with the message “Just Do It”. This was back in the 90s when that was Nike’s slogan. This message became ingrained in my brain early on, so I’ll sign off with this: