Patience: Letting Time Do Its Thing

A few months ago, I wrote about the Four Stages of Competence. I’m now in the throes of the Conscious Incompetence stage in my new job, and I’m continuing to apply insights and perspective from Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mere Mortals by Oliver Burkeman to work through my own situation. There is a lot that I don’t know, but I can only absorb and retain so much each day, so it’s a painfully slow process. Last week, I talked about focus and letting go of distractions. Today’s theme is patience and acknowledging that, despite our best efforts, we can’t actually take control of time and bend it to our will. No matter how clever we are and how hard we work, some things just take their own time and can’t be rushed. 

This can be tough to accept in our modern, capitalist society because we are conditioned to be impatient and want everything right now. Technological advances help us to do things more easily and quickly, but they can also give us the false sense that we are closer to being able to control our time, raising our expectations for how fast we should be able to get things done. Take microwave ovens for instance - they make it possible to cook foods that may have previously required hours to cook within a few short minutes. But then we stand impatiently in front of the microwave watching the countdown of seconds, and we might even decide to intervene before the beep, ending the cycle a few seconds early because it seems unbearable to wait any longer. Sound familiar?

We’ve adopted a sense of urgency that bears a resemblance to addiction. We look for ways to numb unpleasant feelings–like the discomfort we feel when there’s a lull in the constant fast pace and busyness–by trying to do even more. Then we get anxious and can’t ever achieve peace of mind. The only way to break out of this cycle is to surrender to reality and face the truth that we can’t dictate how quickly things go. Some things just can’t be rushed. Take reading a book, for example–unless you’re an unusually proficient speed reader, if you go too fast, you won’t be able to make sense of what you’re reading, and there is no meaning to it, and then you’re just wasting time.

This is where patience comes in: resisting the urge to hurry, doing one thing at a time, and making it count. When we stop trying to escape the discomfort we feel when we are present, the discomfort eventually becomes less intense and we are able to enjoy the actual experience. Resisting the usual tendency to race towards resolution means we are permitting the necessary time for reality to unfold at its own pace. 

Burkeman offers three principles of patience:

1. Develop a taste for having problems - Instead of succumbing to the belief that we should not have problems, we can accept our problems as the things that we need to take care of and that give meaning and purpose to life. If we shift our focus from trying to get rid of all our problems to taking the time needed for each problem, we are experiencing what life is all about.

2. Embrace radical incrementalism - Spend smaller amounts of time on a task, but make it part of a regular routine, and in the long run you will end up producing more. Rushing to finish work as quickly as possible can have the unintended effect of hindering progress when we try to force time to conform to our will. This is especially true when there is a creative process involved - trying to hasten it will likely result in frustration. But when we stop what we’re doing after an allotted time, even if we feel we could do more, we’re building patience and the endurance to return to a project over and over again, making our productivity sustainable over a longer time.

3. Originality lives on the far side of unoriginality - Sometimes in our pursuit of the path less taken, we miss out on experiencing the richness and depth of going through all the stages and accomplishments of a well-worn path. Instead, focus on sticking with the part of the journey you’re in and truly engage where you are before seeking to switch to something else just because it’s different and exciting. 

So much of this speaks to me. I admit to being a variety junkie and I love to try new things, but if I reflect on the aspects of my life where I have meaning and satisfaction, they are the ones that have been consistent over a long period of time. Relationships with family and friends get richer over years. I see progress in my yoga practice and strength training workouts when I repeat the same poses or reps regularly for weeks or even months; I can’t force myself to be more flexible and strong by spending hours in one sitting on it. And I also can’t keep changing things up and expect to see progress. The creativity and progress involved in developing a discipline take time and persistence to develop.

I don’t know how long it will take to emerge from my current discomfort, but I know I have to let it be and stay the course. I’m taking it one day at a time. Every once in a while there will be a glimpse of progress, a small sense of accomplishment, to give me hope. And I’ll keep showing up.

Time Management

One of the most common complaints I’ve heard from my mentees and coaching clients over the years is that they have so many things to do and not enough time. They suffer from being burnt out due to working long hours, not being able to get things done on time, managing interruptions, and always being exhausted. Here are my favorite tried-and-true methods for effective time management that I share with them to become more productive and less stressed, and achieve their goals more efficiently.

Identify your most important tasks and plan your day accordingly

Each day, think about what your job is that day. What are the 2-3 most important things that you need to get done? Notice I didn’t say the top 10. Be realistic, and prioritize. This doesn’t mean you won’t do anything else, but you should be able to identify what is most important. I like to write these down so I can check-in on how well I did at completing these at the end of the day. 

Then, make sure your schedule for the day reflects your priorities. If you don’t allocate time to get your most important tasks done, how can you possibly succeed? I use an online calendar, but you can also do this in a paper planner. Just as you would a meeting or appointment, schedule your work on your calendar. As you’re doing this, here are a few tips for effective scheduling:

• Do the most important work when your energy levels are highest. If you don’t know when this is, you may need to observe your energy levels for a couple days to see when you are most productive and effective. For me, this is usually first thing in the morning and late in the afternoon, and when I can be most confident that things will actually get done, so I have scheduled work blocks on my calendar during those times.

• Make the most of your scheduled time by time blocking and time boxing. These two time management techniques are similar but with a different emphasis.

• Time Blocking is about setting aside time by deciding when you are going to work on one specific task. As much as I love multi-tasking, in reality it’s not that effective because you’re not able to really focus. If you have a lot of meetings during the day, try to cluster them together to create bigger leftover blocks of time outside of meetings for completing your individual tasks. In other words, defrag your calendar (IYKYK)

• Time boxing means allotting a fixed, maximum unit of time for an activity, and completing the task in that allotted time. At the end of this time, you are done for now. Decide whether what you’ve achieved is good enough, or you need to schedule more time for the job later. A helpful tool for timeboxing is a Pomodoro timer, which usually uses 25-minute work blocks followed by a 5 minute break. You can find plenty of free apps for this - the one I use is called Pomodoro Timer and I think I paid $3.99 for the ads-free version.

• Schedule time for breaks and unexpected interruptions - You’re human, so make sure you have time for basic biological needs like bathroom breaks and meals, but also to deal with any unexpected requests that may come your way throughout the day.

Manage Interruptions and unplanned work throughout the day

During your scheduled work time, be somewhere that you can sit or stand comfortably and minimize any distractions like chat and email. When you do check your email and chat, what happens when new items come up that are not part of your planned work? Prioritize new tasks, using a tool called the Eisenhower Matrix, aka the Urgent-Important Matrix. It was popularized by former US President and Army General Dwight D. Eisenhower, who was known for his ability to manage his time effectively. As you triage interruptions or new request, ask yourself two questions: 1) Is this urgent? and 2) Is this important? Use your answers and the chart below to determine what action to take.

Eisenhower matrix

Take Breaks

Plan for rest during your day and actually take the breaks! Rest and recovery are critical to your health and performance. Taking regular breaks can help you stay refreshed and focused, and even short breaks can help you recharge your batteries and increase your productivity. Use your breaks to stretch, walk around, or do something relaxing to help you clear your mind. If you’re like me and sit in front of a computer most of the day, it’s also helpful to give your eyes a break from the screen and your body a break from sitting.

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Those are the tips that I’ve found most helpful to increase my productivity and effectiveness and avoid burnout. What are your favorite time management tips? I’d love to hear your ideas in the comments!