Unlock the Cage: Emotional Triggers

Glimmers in the sky: cloud iridescence (photo credit: Chris Robinson)

A few weeks ago I saw a meme explaining glimmers – the opposite of triggers – and the next day, YouTube suggested a Glimmer-themed yoga video. The universe was sending me a message! It’s so easy to feel bombarded by negative news and the constant churn of change and uncertainty. This turns our internal narrative a little paranoid, letting positive experiences slide right off our backs while clinging to the bad stuff. This negativity bias, while once helpful for survival, can magnify modern problems into life-or-death threats. Thankfully, by embracing glimmers we can chip away at the negativity bias and learn to manage those emotional triggers.

Why we get triggered

Human beings (and other mammals) possess a negativity bias that weights negative signals more heavily than positive signals. This bias was helpful in the early days of human existence in the face of frequent mortal threats such as predators, heightening our focus and triggering the flight-or-flight response necessary for survival. Individuals with a stronger negativity bias were more likely to survive these encounters. While the types of negative stimuli we encounter are rarely at the level of life and death, our physiological response sometimes makes us experience them as strongly as we might with a matter of life and death. 

We don’t just notice negative stimuli more; we tend to ruminate on them, which is why traumatic events – and even minor setbacks or arguments – can linger long after they’ve passed. This negativity bias helps explain why we get emotionally triggered, and why unhooking from the triggers can be challenging. Think about a time you had a negative interaction with a stranger. Did you find yourself replaying the experience in your mind, dwelling on the negativity, while forgetting any positive interactions you had that day? This tendency to amplify the negative is a powerful force. It can shape our perceptions, making us gloss over our accomplishments and hyper-focus on criticisms. My personal example is how I used to read my performance reviews. I would skim through any praise, and then zero in on the smallest bit of constructive feedback at the end. The perceived criticism became magnified, driving me to tears. Perhaps you can relate to this feeling of the negative overshadowing the positive..

Negativity bias makes us more susceptible to negative news, and the reality is that news already tends to skew negative. On top of that, the lightning speed of information today creates a constant bombardment, making it feel like the world is in a perpetual state of crisis. From national and global issues to local concerns and industry-specific challenges, negativity seems ever-present. Add to that the usual challenges of work, family, and friendships, and it's no wonder we feel overwhelmed, and helpless. I once made a long list (a spreadsheet, actually) of all my problems – I do not recommend doing this – and it contributed to my feelings of overwhelm and helplessness.

The problem is, our bodies react to a threat with the same intensity whether it's immediate and physical or simply a worrisome thought. This fight-or-flight response, while meant to be protective, can cloud our judgment. When we identify too strongly with negative emotions – perhaps a coworker's comment sparks old feelings of inadequacy – it becomes difficult to think clearly and find a solution.

The good news is, with an awareness of negativity bias, we can learn to manage its influence and cultivate a more balanced perspective.

Glimmers are the antidote

Thankfully, there's an antidote to this negativity trap: glimmers. The concept of glimmers, attributed to Deb Dana, a clinician specializing in polyvagal theory, focuses on tiny moments that inspire joy or wonder. These can be sweet, simple things – a piece of art, the beauty of nature, a smile, or cuddling your pet. Noticing glimmers, savoring the moment, and gathering positive experiences creates a shift in your mindset, balancing out the inevitable negative experiences and benefiting your mental health by changing how your mind works and how you experience the world.  Glimmers help to ease emotional distress, allowing you to think more logically and take constructive action.

So how do you invite more glimmers into your life?

• Look for them - It’s as simple as being intentional and looking out for them. By being present and open, you’ll start noticing the glimmers that are already happening all around you. 

• Savor them - Notice your emotions and bodily sensations as you experience the glimmer. It doesn’t take long – 20 seconds or less – to start to etch the positive experiences into your memory. Take this even further by sharing them with someone else, which creates a sense of connection.

• Collect them -  Keep track of your glimmers in a glimmer journal, reflect on them at bedtime, or make a photo album. My album includes pictures of homemade artisan bread, stunning sunrises, unique landscapes, cloud iridescence, rainbows, cherished memories with friends… even the snails that live in my front yard! Going through my glimmer photos always makes me smile.

What simple things bring you a glimmer of joy? Start noticing and see how it shifts your days.

Snails! (photo credit: Chris Robinson)